I didn't think it would happen

On Monday morning at approximately 5:45 a.m., I will be taking a big step. A step I didn't plan on taking. A step I rejected several months ago for a plethora of reasons.

But life happens. Plans change and so do people.

Ladies and gentlemen, in just over 24 hours I will be here:

In New York City. Stepping off the plane and headed straight for the heart of Manhattan. Joining me are 26 other advertising students and one professor. Together we'll all partake of and [possibly] be inspired by the lights, the smells, the people and the business. 

For some, this trip might seem like a fun get-away vacation from school. But that's not how I see it. No, no. This trip is an extremely crucial step for me this semester. Sure, it will be a blast, but I've got questions and I need answers. I'm going to New York for five days to test the waters. I need to find out whether or not I could actually see myself living in the big city pursuing my professional career. For two years my feelings on the matter have fluctuated between "yes, I'm going and nothing will stop me!" to "Nah, New York City and advertising and a career aren't for me." But the time for dangling my feet off the fence of indecision is passing. I'm single, I'm almost graduated, and I'm at a crossroads. It's time to make some important decisions (gosh, I hate being an adult sometimes...yet at the same time, I feel invigorated by my boldness. About three weeks ago I made the decision on a whim that I was going to pay my own way. And I did.  I've got one plane ticket and a reserved bed in a hostel, and I'm all ready to go). 

Perhaps I've over-anticipated the outcome of this trip. I like to think that my taking this trip very seriously has prepared me for active observation and appropriate reflection. I like to think I'm ready for whatever inner emotional roller coaster this trip may cause, or the possible peaceful resolutions it brings. Whatever the outcome, I can assure you I'm excited. And happy. And grateful for this opportunity. In all truth, I'm ready to search things out in my mind so that I can feel peace in my heart. 

While in New York I hope to gain insight into the following questions: 

1. Is this something I really want? If so, do I want it for the right reasons? 

2. What are my feelings as I attend different conferences, seminars, and agency visits? 

3. What is the one thing my heart years for as I walk block to block, surrounded by thousands of people? Will it crave for more of what I'm submerged in (skyscrapers, bustling business people in business suits, hot dog stands on streets corners, taxi cabs, etc)? Or will it ache for familiarity, wide open spaces, and home? 

Well, that's what I'm up to for the next week. I'll share any insights I glean upon my return. 

Ciao bellas! 

Image courtesy of Google.