(Under construction)
There are a lot of things I want to say, a lot of feelings I want to express; but limited vocabulary, a blocked thought process, and fatigue reign in my desire to let loose and just...write. But I will try anyway....
Gratitude
In the past few weeks, I've made a conscious effort to walk more slowly, look more attentively, listen more quietly, and feel more deeply as I enjoy my last days as a BYU student on BYU campus. As you can guess (and something that is a common theme on this blog), my efforts have resulted in lots of personal reflection and meditation. I can't recall how many times I've hiked up the stairs SW of campus, panting incessantly as I trek toward the JFSB, McKay, or the Brimhall, but I know that I like the 10 minutes of cardio it gives me. I can't count how many times I've strolled (or speed walked) down the lane near the Maeser toward the WILK, but I know that green leaves is my favorite color. I can't remember the exact place where I laid to take my afternoon naps many semesters ago, but I know that sleeping under the sun is relaxing and effective. I can't say how many times I've walked through Brigham Square, but I do know that the Wasatch mountains reach their prime at exactly 6:08 p.m. on a summer's evening. I can't tell you how many times I've traveled to the SFH in rain, snow, or sun, but I do know that room A has the better treadmills. I can't recall how many seas of faces I've seen over the semesters, but I do know that almost nothing is more eventful than seeing a familiar smile greet me as I'm rushing to class.
To be a Student
I once had a professor tell me, quite passionately, how lucky it is to be a BYU student. I brushed his comment aside as if it were a stale joke. Tons of faculty say we're lucky to be BYU students; they must get bonuses each time they say it. But now that my time is almost up, I finally understand what he was talking about. I
am lucky to be a BYU student. Not only do I have the privilege of walking around a beautiful campus, but I am also blessed to learn from professors who want me to succeed, who want me to drink in all the knowledge and experience I can so that when I enter the real world I have a firm foundation to stand on. Also, being a BYU student has given me the chance to serve in a student ward--an environment that taught (and continues to teach) me more about service than I'd ever learned before.
Change
The past three years of my life have been dynamic, to say the least. I've been stretched, pruned, plucked, refined, softened, molded, bent, broken, bruised, healed, etc. I've met incredible people who inspired me to be a better person, and I've learned how to work hard for what matters most. More importantly, my experiences in the last several years have taught me more about God' ways, and how I fit in with the eternal scheme of things. Prophets in the Book of Mormon said that one reason for recording their histories was to show their children how merciful and how loving Heavenly Father really is. When I look back at old blog posts and past journal entries, it is clear that God surely does love His children, for God has shown me more love than I can even recall (see second paragraph of this post).
Who I am today is not who I was two or three years ago. I feel like each trial and experience has tapped into my divine potential, slowly chipping away at a mold that will someday have very smooth surfaces and detailed features.
