Simply Real

This post inspired me today, and it makes me want to be simply real.

Like Bob, I want to battle the perfection disease, too. So here are six of my real & raw statements (well, this is about as real and raw as I'm able to be today):

1. I think I am incapable of committing when it comes to dating. I always choose to walk away from a potential relationship rather than giving myself or another person a chance. Mostly it's because I'm just not ready, even though I really wish I were.

2. I really like to help others feel happy, but this desire is often twisted into a people pleasing type of behavior. So often, I choose to live other people's dreams rather than my own in hopes of their acceptance.

3. I don't like to be called out on the little things. Mostly because I'm already acutely aware of my mistakes and blunders. However, I try really hard to recognize the importance of being able to laugh at my bloopers.

4. I overanalyze a lot, and my thought process throughout the day is all over the place! I have a lot on my mind and most of the time I just want to express it. I get frustrated when I can't articulate my thoughts, or when people don't understand what I'm thinking/feeling. Sometimes I wonder if people find me overly-intense or strange because of it.

5. I am easily stressed when the decisions I have to make involve the lives of other people (back to dating). In a lot of ways, it paralyzes me. I'm not very good at just going with the flow and letting things work themselves out.

6. I often wish I was thinner.

As mentioned in Bob's post, this isn't about complaining or saying how hard life is, because in truth, I'm quite blessed and I feel very grateful for the chance I have to be at BYU, to be the second child of seven kids, to be a roommate to three incredible girls, to be a student in the advertising program....and the list goes on! This also isn't about fishing for compliments. I'm really very happy with the lot I've been given in this life, and I know that things just keep getting better and better.

I just really want to be real. And I want you to know (in case I haven't emphasized it enough) that I have insecurities, too. And it's Okay!

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the concept of personal security. The term was first introduced to me in my marriage prep class over the summer. In short, personal security is our sense of self-worth, and in order to feel peaceful about who we are and where we're going, we need to ground our personal security on foundations of truth.

And that is my goal for this week. I will battle the perfection disease by focusing on the true and correct foundations of personal security while also being as real and honest as I  can be.

Wish me luck in my pursuit.