I've never been a fanatic for ghosts, goblins or witches. Nor have I ever really enjoyed an evening of walking up and down dark neighborhood streets behind a trail of other kids begging for candy. I especially have never been a fan of the weeks of preparation required for creating the "coolest" costume on the block.
As you can predict, Halloween leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. As a kid, I have distinct memories that have clouded my perception of this so called "awesome" holiday:
1. Making a costume usually consisted of some last minute project being thrown together hours before the ward Halloween party. Mom was usually stressed about helping the younger kids, so I ended up wearing the same pumpkin or suns cheerleader outfit for I don't know how many years. As I got older, my mom placed all responsibility of a costume on me. I was never creative enough to think up anything worthy of congratulatory praises. I remember raiding my grandmother's closet one year looking for anything gypsie. My attempts led me to wearing an old, knitted black vest (you know, those comical pieces grandma's wear so they can show off all their pins and broaches) with my hair slicked back in a pony tail and red lipstick that smeared all over my white shirt. In other words, unattractive.
2. Mom always had a rule of no trick or treating after the age of 12. This meant festivities were limited to the ward party, which was always lame anyway because you got to see all your friends in totally awesome costumes that had clearly been crafted by very creative mothers. The comparisons were traumatizing for a becoming junior high school girl.
3. Pumpkin carving meant touching really gross, slimy orange squash guts; I still feel queezy just thinking about all those Hallow-eves when dad would make me clean out my own pumpkin, or worse when my older brother would throw his grows pumpkin guts on me. Ew!
4. Once I got to high school, things only became worse. I only attended one high school Halloween party. It was my sophomore year, so already I felt awkward and strange in my own skin. I had agreed to tag along with some friends even though deep down all I really wanted to do was stay at home and watch musicals or Anne of Green Gables. Upon arriving, I had somehow missed the memo mentioning costume dress code, or rather a lack thereof. I had also failed to predict that only the cool kids could attend. And I for one, knew I was not a cool kid. Luckily I've learned to get over social situations like that; however, the memory still haunts me whenever Halloween comes around and someone mentions going to a big party.
As I've been in college, things have improved somewhat: not my perspective of Halloween, rather my strength to skip out on festivities I really don't prefer is growing. I now feel comfortable telling friends that I'd really rather just stay at home reading, working on homework, going to the gym and watching movies. This is what makes Halloween not so awful. I don't have to worry about stressing over a costume, running around neighborhoods trying to collect the most candy, or being in a large social scene when I'd really like to be enjoying the company of a small group of good friends, or the solitude of my own apartment. No, no, Halloween does not have to be so awful.
In the future, I'm sure my hard feelings toward this day will pass on to my children. My kids and I will just have to enjoy an evening of our own festivities.
I will give Halloween one good vote though: after tonight, we can all officially speak of and rejoice in Thanksgiving and Christmas! I'm so excited for THOSE holidays. In just under a month I get to see my family, friends, and good 'ole Mesa. The nostalgia crept up on me a week ago, and now it's growing. So thank you Halloween, for at least bringing some good news.
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