Life is a Highway...

I finally had my journalism internship interview today. Usually in this phase of the post-interview process I would be beaming, confidant I did my best and left a good impression. However, this morning I do not feel quite that ecstatic. It all started when my alarm went off an hour late, thus leaving me less time than planned to get ready. I quickly showered, dressed and did my hair, while simultaneously preparing breakfast and finishing things for school at the same time. Then, when I left my apartment, it took about 10 minutes to realize I had forgotten which building I was supposed to go to. Actually, that's not entirely true. I knew exactly which building I was supposed to go to: The Maxwell Institute of Religion, Rm. B-49. Located at the corner of 500 East and 800 North. (That's what the man in the e-mail told me). But upon my arrival, I found no such nameplate on the building. Instead it read, "The Ezra Taft Benson Food Agriculture Building."

What? Agriculture? That's not what I'm looking for! I quickly scanned the scene, anxiously searching for any sign of the Maxwell Building. Fortunately, there were lots of students heading up to campus. I stopped one in her tracks. She politely informed me that the Maxwell building was located up the hill just south of the Benson building. (Thank you Miss!). I ignored the blister that was festering on my left foot as a ran up the hill in my 4-inch stilletos. But of course, this wasn't the right building either, even though the sign said it was the Maxwell Institute of Religious Scholars. Panic hits. What was I to do? Again, I scanned the scene, only this time I found a note taped to the door: "The Maxwell Institute is no longer located here. Please go to building B-49 on the corner of 500 East and 800 North. Call this number if you have any questions." I was thoroughly confused at this point because the building on 500 and 800 was for agriculture! That's what the sign said!

By this point I had several options. A.) Admit defeat, and saunter back home where I would e-mail my interviewer and explain my dilemma, B.) Run back to the agriculture building and ask what in the world is going on? or C.) Duh! call the number on the note. Luckily a nice young lady answered and was very sympathetic to my concerns. She confirmed the Agriculture building was in fact the place I needed to be, BYU just hadn't changed the sign yet. Great, I say to myself. I was there the whole time. "Please inform them that I will be just a minute late," I asked the nice lady, and then quickly I ran back down the hill, again, ignoring the pain from the blister that had gradually been growing across my pinky toe.

Having finally made it to the right place, I sat in my seat trying to cool-off from the past 20 minutes of spaz attacks. Just then my interviewers walked in. They seemed like sophisticated, well-educated people. One even had a distinguished British accent. While I didn't want to feel intimidated, I couldn't help but shy away just slightly when they requested that I sit at the head of the table while they positioned themselves on the opposite end, staring me down like a lion on a helpless gazelle.

Fifteen minutes later I was done. I walked outside and stood for a few moments thinking back to all their inquiries and the answers I had given. During the whole interview, I felt so scattered, like I couldn't focus on the target. They asked good questions, but I felt as though I failed to give good answers. "What is a recent book you have read that you didn't have to read for school?" Easy right? "Oh, well, I have just recently developed a keen interest in nutrition. Have you ever heard of Tosa Reno? She wrote this awesome book called the 'Clean Eating Diet'...." The clean eating diet? These are religion scholars! Clean Eating is not the answer they were looking for!! Why couldn't I have mentioned that I recently bought a Thousand Splendid Suns by Kahled Hosseini? Or The House at Sugar Beach by Helene Cooper? I really surprise myself sometimes, and not always in a good way.

Overall, today I was reminded of several important lessons:

1. Budget time wisely. Nothing causes stress like having less time than you need.
2. Know where you're going. I thought I was so sure about where I needed to go. I didn't even check. That was clearly a mistake. I should have called to confirm, or at least double checked on the website. Nothing leads you astray like ignorance.
3. Calm down and don't FREAK out. This is a constant problem of mine. I like to think that I handled the situation fairly well (at last compared to other instances like this), but at the same time, I wish I could have cooled down more quickly before my interview.
4. If you see a sign, look again because you might have missed it. And I'm not just talking about signs outside of buildings. I mean life in general. Today, my mind (and heart) was not where it needed to be for that interview. While my interviewers were asking how I would go about revising an LDS scholarly article, all I could think about was how I really didn't feel like sitting in my ELANG class this afternoon, and how I would much rather be traveling in South America or Europe doing something more fulfilling with my life (shout out to the roommies!).

As I reflect on my life as of late, I feel like I've been running for a long time. Running, running,running, trying so hard to find where I'm supposed to be or what I'm supposed to do. My anxiety resembles those times when your driving down the high way, and you know you're supposed to get off soon, but your not totally sure which exit to take. The nerves build as you try to recall any kind of clues. Then suddenly, it's too late. You've passed your exit, and your stuck on a road that's leading you farther and father away from your destination. I wonder if maybe it's time to stop. Maybe it's time to take a moment and really contemplate what my goals are and how I should be accomplishing them. Maybe I'm trying to do too much. Maybe I've worn myself thin, like butter scraped over too much bread (JR Tolken). Maybe I am following the wrong signs. Fortunately, there is always another exit that will let you turn around, and you can try to continue the original pursuit. With that perspective in mind, maybe it's OK that I messed up this morning...perhaps there is a better opportunity ahead. Or perhaps not. Either way, today represented a day of learning and contemplation. Surely, life is a highway--it goes on for miles, offering a plethora of directions and only us, the drivers, can decide which one we'll follow. If we miss our exit, there is always a way to get back to where we started. It might require more time, but at least you return knowing exactly which turn-off not to take.