In the process of becoming a "real" adult, I've had to take very small, incremental baby steps. Anything bigger would have totally and completely sent me reeling into the pits of dispair (umm...can you say drama queen?).
Yup, I'm that freaked out about change. But, that's beside the point. Back to the baby steps.
I accepted my first "real" job last July. That meant moving back to Provo on my own dime and with a totally fresh slate. This I had done before (except the first time was four years ago and it was on my parent's dime. Thanks mom and pop!), so I wasn't totally skittish. Certainly I was nervous about what would or could happen, but I like to think I was still marginally composed (BTW, thanks T and A for letting me crash in your apartment during that awkward week of homelessness). After all, I was returning to my old stomping grounds. During those six months in Provo I learned the invaluable worth of sleep, students, boyfriends, mousetraps, and more sleep.
Then, that job ended. Insert second job (aka probationary internship).
As you loyal blog readers know, I sold my Provo contract (in quite the rush after discounting it immensely), packed my bags and moved to my parent's vacant home in Morgan, UT with the hopes of saving money and finding out whether or not I'd be offered a job at the end of my internship (that goal of saving money was achieved, btw). For the past five months this is where I've been. This is where I've thrown my fits, complained about my loneliness, fretted about the future, and fretted some more. This is where I really learned the value of daily chores. I learned that friendship committees in a singles ward are a brilliant invention and that knowing your neighbors is a good idea. This is where I learned just how much I hate grocery shopping (by myself at least. In the future, my hubby is coming with me to keep me company...and to keep me motivated until the job is finished). I've also learned that if anything is going to change my circumstances it has to start with me. I've re-learned that the Lord is always aware of our struggles and triumphs and that he definitely cares. He could probably do with out all the emotional squandering; nevertheless, he is patient, loving, and understanding. This is where I've re-learned that he strengthens me and blesses me if I live life via his recommendations. This is also the place where I have finally summoned the courage to take the next step, which is...
to move out. Again.
But this time, to a new apartment without furnishing in a new city with brand new roommates. That's right folks: I'm taking another leap. Granted, it's only 45 minutes South, but a leap nonetheless. I've decided to relocate to Salt Lake. Or, at least I'm going to try to. I've already started the housing search and have my fingers crossed and heartbegging, pleading praying the Lord will direct me to a safe place with blessed opportunities.
For some, this is totally not a big deal.
For me, it's a step toward progress--however baby-like it may seem. I have no idea what's coming up this next year (or even in the next six months), but I have to believe the baby steps are leading me somewhere good...
...right???? (see this post on validation)
PS. I can't even fathom how many baby steps it's going to take for me to actually get married and then have children (beautiful, sweet, chunky, adorable children)...
...am I a hopeless cause???
Don't answer that.
Yup, I'm that freaked out about change. But, that's beside the point. Back to the baby steps.
I accepted my first "real" job last July. That meant moving back to Provo on my own dime and with a totally fresh slate. This I had done before (except the first time was four years ago and it was on my parent's dime. Thanks mom and pop!), so I wasn't totally skittish. Certainly I was nervous about what would or could happen, but I like to think I was still marginally composed (BTW, thanks T and A for letting me crash in your apartment during that awkward week of homelessness). After all, I was returning to my old stomping grounds. During those six months in Provo I learned the invaluable worth of sleep, students, boyfriends, mousetraps, and more sleep.
Then, that job ended. Insert second job (aka probationary internship).
As you loyal blog readers know, I sold my Provo contract (in quite the rush after discounting it immensely), packed my bags and moved to my parent's vacant home in Morgan, UT with the hopes of saving money and finding out whether or not I'd be offered a job at the end of my internship (that goal of saving money was achieved, btw). For the past five months this is where I've been. This is where I've thrown my fits, complained about my loneliness, fretted about the future, and fretted some more. This is where I really learned the value of daily chores. I learned that friendship committees in a singles ward are a brilliant invention and that knowing your neighbors is a good idea. This is where I learned just how much I hate grocery shopping (by myself at least. In the future, my hubby is coming with me to keep me company...and to keep me motivated until the job is finished). I've also learned that if anything is going to change my circumstances it has to start with me. I've re-learned that the Lord is always aware of our struggles and triumphs and that he definitely cares. He could probably do with out all the emotional squandering; nevertheless, he is patient, loving, and understanding. This is where I've re-learned that he strengthens me and blesses me if I live life via his recommendations. This is also the place where I have finally summoned the courage to take the next step, which is...
to move out. Again.
But this time, to a new apartment without furnishing in a new city with brand new roommates. That's right folks: I'm taking another leap. Granted, it's only 45 minutes South, but a leap nonetheless. I've decided to relocate to Salt Lake. Or, at least I'm going to try to. I've already started the housing search and have my fingers crossed and heart
For some, this is totally not a big deal.
For me, it's a step toward progress--however baby-like it may seem. I have no idea what's coming up this next year (or even in the next six months), but I have to believe the baby steps are leading me somewhere good...
...right???? (see this post on validation)
PS. I can't even fathom how many baby steps it's going to take for me to actually get married and then have children (beautiful, sweet, chunky, adorable children)...
...am I a hopeless cause???
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As long as you can still make those faces, you are not at all hopeless. :)
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