Words

February 2, 2012

For my post today I was hoping I'd find something meaningful I could display like a quote that's recently tugged at my heart strings or a book that's made me think; but nothing seemed to be the right fit. And then as I was perusing through blogs, I discovered this gem of a post by popular indie singer, Mindy Gledhill. Her words articulate exactly how I've felt over the past month or so.

It is ironic I found this post because just last night as I was lying in bed, looking out my window, I  pondered what I could look forward to this year. You'll notice I still haven't posted my New Year's resolutions.That's because, just like Mindy Gledhill described, "at the start of the new year, I pondered what lofty goals I should aim for. But all I kept coming up with was a blank stare." 

That's all I've seen when I look into the future: a blank stare. And whenever I try to impose the goals of others or ambitions I think I should be achieving on myself, my heart rebels and I end up in a state of inner turmoil. 

To be honest, the blank stare jolted me at first. I became worried that any spark of ambition I've ever had was simply gone. I compared myself to all the other girls I know who are aiming for great, big adventures. I then felt afraid of being left behind. But after reading the thoughts of another searching soul, I realize there isn't anything wrong with me. I'm simply in a phase that requires filling my well rather than sharing its contents.

I am grateful for the times when I can rely on the words of others to express my feelings. In the mean time, I will follow in the footsteps of Ms. Gledhill, which is to embrace all the little things that light up my world, having faith they will help me create something beautiful.