He will pour out His spirit upon His Handmaids

Random, Disconnected Thoughts on My Role as a Woman

Two weeks ago, I was browsing the church website and stumbled across a podcast channel called Conversations. The podcasts are conversations between Sheri Dew and someone in church leadership. I've never been one to listen to podcasts, but I was instantly intrigued when I saw the long list of past podcast participants: Elder and Sister Holland, Susan Easten Black, Julie B. Beck, and many others. I decided I'd give these podcasts a try, just to hear what church leaders were discussing.

Little did I know I have stumbled upon a gold mine of beautiful insights and inspiring words of wisdom from women in the church. Today I listened to a podcast by Julie Beck and her two daughters, all of who are full-time mothers and servants to the Lord. The discussion was almost entirely centered on the role of women in the church as wife, mother, homemaker, member, and citizen. I was deeply touched by the insights Sister Beck and her daughters shared. However, I was also intimidated by some of the thoughts and opinions they expressed.

There was thought in particular that has my mind churning. Toward the end of the podcast, Sheri Dew asked Sister Beck what final thoughts she would like to express concerning the role of women in the church. Siste Beck said the following:

"I was blessed to be reared by a mother who's motto was 'welcome the task that makes you go beyond yourself and you will grow.' That's what this gospel affords us. And that empowers us. I often think of the pioneers who were thrown out of Nauvoo ... and built a collection of humbles. What happened when they were in the middle of that most difficult time? [...] What did the women say? Were they just going to sit there and cower and feel sorry for themselves? They said no. You go ahead and do your job, we will meet you in the valley. And they did. That's the kind of feeling I have for the sisters of this church. Whatever is required, they can do it. They can round up their shoulders and do it. They can welcome the task that makes them go beyond themselves and they can grow. That's what the gospel does for us. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us."

 Have you ever really considered what it means to be a woman in this church? I want to believe the thousands of stinky diapers and sloppy meals we'll have to clean for our children will lead to a gratifying sense of responsibility and peace in motherhood. The nights when our husbands are busy with work or boyscouts will be the times when we might feel stranded or tied down by the tasks at hand. I imagine there will be many evenings when I'll sit teary-eyed asking myself what I've signed up for. I'll probably say something like, "I'm a woman of passion and intellect, not a handmaid or a slave." And then I'll pout for a minute or two. But I hope I'll remember the words of Sister Beck when she called us to be women of virtue, strong and purservering in our pursuit of happiness. I pray that in the future I will welcome the task that makes me go beyond myself so that I can grow.

I'm not sure why, but for the past several months I've been thinking a lot about my specific role as a woman in this church. Now more than ever, I am struggling to find peace in the fact that motherhood and family are the best investments we can make (if we are blessed with that choice). I'm tempted to believe that a career will be much more rewarding and fair as far as time commitments are concerned; or that life as a single woman really can't be as miserable as married people (or single women) say. What can be done to change my mind, or remind myself that family really is one of the greatest gifts God can bless us with?

I hope that I can someday be like Julie Beck and the other women leading our church today. They are strong, and they have their priorities exactly where they need to be. This is obvious because of the distinct power and influence of the Holy Ghost that radiates in their countenance. I want to be like them, a true handmaid of the Lord.


more on this later....