I think it's interesting that certain people bring out the very best in me, while others--I feel--bring out the absolute worst! Whether or not I am myself is certainly no fault of any person; after all, am I not the master of my own soul? (Frankie R. Faison). And if I struggle to be myself around certain people, then isn't that just a projection of my own insecurities? OK. That's not a maybe. That's just fact.
Why is it so difficult to be our true selves all the time? Why is it that, with certain people, I feel like I emotionally jump back to my socially awkward, defensive, fearful, sarcastic, overbearing 8th-grade self? What on earth am I so afraid of? Why in the world would I worry so much about another's judgement of me?
I don't want to be fearful anymore. I have experienced and know too much to let myself cower down to my insecurities.
That is my declaration today: to be me. To give as much as my soul is able to give. I will do my best to make sure you see who I really am. But please don't be too harsh when I struggle to keep my heart open, to show you my childlike happiness, to help you see your full potential, too. I'm doing the best I can. I promise.
Happy Friday.
You can do it!
ReplyDeleteAnd don't beat yourself up about acting differently around certain people; just avoid them.
:)
Yeah, you are the master of your own soul--but it is impossible not to be affected or influenced by environment and other people. That's why God put us here with others and not alone!
You've been doing hefty soul work lately. I like to read it.