Sharing Time

It's the very beginning of the semester, and this is the time when life feels incredibly hectic and overwhelming and basically just crappy. However, I am doing my best to maintain composure and emotional control of my feelings, reactions, etc. Usually at the beginning of the semester I feel super intimidated by all the people around me. The added pressure from professors doesn't help. I often get lost in my own self pity, and I forget to serve and think of others around me.

So, my next New Year's Resolution will be to implement the following guidelines in my life. Most of these thoughts are random (I was told recently by my professor that I probably have ADD). But I feel these suggestions will help me to first, nourish and enrich my personal needs so that I can then be a sufficient source of support to others; second, fulfill my calling; third, be a productive, intense and proactive member of the BYU AdLab and advertising program; and fourth, be a happy person who sees more than just the narrowed perspective of life.

1. Remember the big picture, even if it feels like I can only move one tiny step at a time:

As mentioned above, I too often get lost in my own world. I convince myself that I'm the only 20-year-old BYU student who feels stressed, alone, and worried about the future. It's not that I want to ignore the problems of my roommates and friends, but the natural consequence of narrowing my perspective to only the incremental details of my life is that only those details will be present in my mind, thus leading to minimal action in service of others. It's simple math, really. If I only have 100% to give, and I'm giving all that energy to myself, what happens to the other people in my life who need my help, yet don't get it because I'm too concerned about the bowl of oatmeal I spilt while running around the apartment trying to find the keys that slipped in between the sofa cousions because I was too busy last night, checking emails and watching Glee, to put my things away properly (just sayin').

The "big picture" I'm talking about is the fact that I'm not the only person in my world, and also, that my world expands past my college education. In reference to the first aspect of the "big picture," my actions influence the people around me. Whether I want them to or not. It is unfortunate when I become so self absorbed that I don't even stop to say hi to a friend as we cross paths on the way to campus; or when I don't put my cereal bowl in the dishwasher because it's "too much of a hassle" to wash it down; or when I don't take the time to visit one of the girls in the relief society, who really needs some help, because I'd rather serf Facebook (or blogs :-) )

Now, don't get me wrong. It's absolutely crucial that each of us take time to relax and face the challenges that are prohibiting personal progression. But sometimes, the best way to overcome trial and tribulation is to really serve the people around you. OK, I know what you're thinking. "Um..duh! We all know that service is an answer." We talk about selflessness and service all the time. But do we actually know how we can serve? You already know that it doesn't have to be a grand, newsworthy action. Because most often it's the small acts that help. For example:
1. Listen to someone else talk about their problems. Give people a rest from your own.
2. The moment you start to overanalyze and can sense that your being consumed by your own worries, stop and think of your next door neighbor, a friend or colleague. Ask yourself how much you know about that person. Consider what preconceived thoughts you've had about that person and think about how accurate or considerate those assumptions are.
3. In group discussions, don't interrupt the people you're talking to. Give them a chance to express their opinions, feelings, and thoughts. Elder Maxwell gave a great thought about this concept of listening to others. If someone articulates something more clearly or profound, don't try to "one up" their comment. Continue the conversation so that the synergy can grow (Insights from My Life).
4. Stop by to visit someone in the ward you haven't really gotten to know. This is scary, but it can often result in improving greatly the lives of those you talk to.

And the list of examples goes on. But the key point I wish to emphasize is the fact that we are not the only people in our spheres of influence, as Elder Maxwell often points out. Almost everything we do will touch another person, either directly or indirectly. Don't let that fact pressure you; rather, see it as an opportunity to escape the bonds of fear that so often confine us to a miserable state.

Earlier I suggested that the "Big Picture" also consists of the fact that my life expands beyond my BYU education. This concept goes along with the idea of all-or-nothing thinking. So often I give into the fear that my academic life, and future career (or chances at having a family) will be abolished in seconds should I miss too many questions on an exam or fail to meet all the requirements of an assignment. So often I convince myself that if I don't reach perfection by 3 p.m. today, I'll never get there; therefore, my life does not deserve an optimistic perspective. This, of course, is false. The apostles and scriptures talk all the time about how this life is meant to be a journey: a step by step road trip in which we make mistakes, learn, and grow. In DC 78: 18 it says that "[we] cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along." So when relating that to my life, here and now at BYU, I can remember that I will make mistakes today and that I am not going to be perfect--at anything! (Except maybe being imperfect). But I can choose every moment of my life to remember that God and Jesus Christ have "prepared, planned, and guaranteed my victory--if I desire it," (Jeffrey R. Holland). If I believe this, then I can find peace in the fact that even if today has malfunctions, it's OK. It does not mean that I am destined for unhappiness for the rest of my life. I can still finish my degrees of interest, I can still seek after a career (If it be the Lord's will), and I can still have the opportunity to raise a family (again, if it be the Lord's will).

2. Stop Comparing Myself to others: Life is too short to be jealous all the time.

to be continued....